Reblogged from https://ali-stegert.com/2019/01/09/a-writers-self-care-part-2/
Not all goals are good goals; some can be downright unhealthy.
Of course, most writers want to sign with a world-class agent, experience a bidding war over their manuscript, sell out their first print run, hit the best seller’s list, and become wildly and internationally famous. The trouble with all of those awesome events is they are completely outside of a writer’s control. Setting any of them as a goal will lead to disillusionment, heartache, and burnout.
Dreams & Goals
The old adages hold true:
“Setting goals is the first step in turning the invisible into the visible.”
“Dreams should be big enough and wild enough to scare us.”
But dreams and goals are two very different things. Dreams engage your wishbone. Goals rely on backbone.
Writers—all creatives in fact—need both ‘bones’. Your wishbone is a trellis that supports your imagination, fosters your vision, and trains your creativity into something uniquely yours. Your backbone is a girder for your growth, dedication, resilience, and longevity.
Goals or SMART Goals
The SMART acronym has been bandied about since 1981 when it was coined by George Doran and associates in an article in Management Review. I particularly like this amplification of the basic qualities of good goals:
S = specific and stretching
M = measurable + meaningful and motivating
A = achievable and action-oriented
R = realistic + rewarding and results-oriented
T = time-bound and trackable
I whimper on the inside when my writing peers say their goals for the year are to get an agent and land a publishing deal. Both are superior dreams but inferior goals, because they aren’t specific, measurable, achievable, realistic or time-bound. Lots of wishbone, little backbone.
Compare these SMART Goals:
But Will Setting SMART Goals Get Me My Agent?Well, not exactly… But it will lay stepping stones in the direction of that dream. Instead of chasing a hazy desire, you create a clear path to follow. Won’t it feel amazing to know where you’re going and how far you’ve come?
As a bonus, tranquillity, optimism, and contentedness flow more freely when we focus on the things we can control. Setting smart goals makes the journey pleasant and healthy!
Self-Care is a Non-Negotiable
Hitting send on your query letter simultaneously hits pause on the part you control. I can tell you from years of experience: unless you are unbelievably lucky, freaky talented, or have an X-factor idea whose time is RIGHT NOW, waiting is the name of the game.
The waiting “to get somewhere” in the life of a writer can be frustrating and bewildering and downright disheartening. It can feel like being stuck in a terminal with no flight information while everyone around you takes off on time or lands safely and falls into the embrace of waiting loved ones. That’s why it’s so important to have clear steps to care for yourself.
It’s common—normal even—for emerging and aspiring writers to feel lousy about “not getting anywhere”, which is industry shorthand for not getting an agent or a publishing deal. Unchecked, disappointment can fester into disillusionment, despair, and even deeper into mental health issues. If you are vulnerable (genetically or circumstantially or both), please, please take steps to be proactive about self-care.
The creative life is a zany rollercoaster with an unpredictable series of highs and lows and tummy-squeezing, knuckle-whitening loop-de-loops. Try to step back so you can view the whole ride, rather than bogging down on the slow or disappointing bits. And above all, share the ride with friends. It’s more fun to scream in symphony than all alone!
Own the Process
We control the quality and quantity of our work. We control how we use our time, how we spend our resources, who we include in our networks. We can control what we read, who we listen to, where we find inspiration, and how we treat other writers. We cannot control whether an agent will like our work enough to sign us as a client. Therefore, own what we do control and let the rest go.
This is a workout for the backbone, not the wishbone.
Over to You
I hope this is the year of your breakthrough or continued success in the creative life—whatever that means for you, signing with your dream agent or landing a publishing contract or breaking a sales record with your latest indie book. May it also mean growing in your ability to find joy in the act of creating and strength in the practice of caring for yourself.
Until next time, take care of yourself!
I went because I wanted to make a website. I had part of an understanding of the process via some wonderful, tech-savvy (which I am not) friends. But not only that, I’d been trying to make it to one of these meetings for a year.
It was too far, it was in the afternoon, my kids needed me (no, they really didn’t). Not getting to a WriteLinks meeting had become an excuse. I went to other local writing meetups which were wonderful, getting to know my writing community. I learned my craft.
But they never really fulfilled my needs. Why? Because none of them wrote for children. Writelinks provided that for me today. Bonus, I got to listen to Anthony Puttee of the Book Cover Café - now The Self-Publishing Lab – speak on making a website.
A few friends had teed me up in the prior months, yakking on about domains and hosting (napkins on the table and chips in a bowl, right?) when really I had no idea. Nods and smiles convinced them their words had gotten through while I hoped my computer started and I could find my most recent Word document.
An hour and a bit into the meeting I was amazingly well educated on how to choose a host that allows me to purchase a domain – my own author name – which looks professional, is easy to use and can grow with my business. This includes listing my books in an online store and getting one of those snazzy enter-your-email-here boxes I’ve always wanted.
In fact I’m so gung-ho, I’m heading home to sort it out later tonight. Not bad for someone who regularly sees wisps of smoke rising from whatever electrical item they’ve neared. I was pretty impressed with my very first Writelinks meeting – more so by Anthony, who gave me the confidence that I could sort this at home by myself.
So here are his tips for making a strong author website. An author’s website is their online presence, their main hub to the world. The Domain, he explained, is like a street address, the Host is the land and the website the house itself.
First he offered a choice of website creators. The usual suspects, Wix, Weebly, Wordpress.com. But it was Wordpress.org he focused on, along with Blue host.
For a small fee you can set it all up ad free, with an email that matches your domain. What screams professionalism like that? Especially to that top-notch agent or Big 4 publisher you’ve been chasing. *cough* Because we never do that…
If yours is a reasonably unique name like mine, use that as your Domain, so your fans can find you easily. If you have a more common name or one that crosses with another online personality, maybe you could add something to it – johnsmithbooks.com, for example.
Anthony went through the entire process with us and it took around half an hour, with questions. In your own quiet space, you could do it in less time again. Follow the prompts and save for a quick, professional hub that can expand with your writing business.
You can even get a great little plug in that shares your content to social media for you. Handy. It’s also compatible for mobile devices, so that professional look follows your online presence. www.selfpublishinglab.com also provides authors with editing, cover design, layout and a plethora of coaching services. Many of the WriteLinks authors have used Anthony’s services to their great benefit and speak well of him.
In all, I enjoyed my first WriteLinks meeting. I learned a lot, put faces to online names, met some wonderful authors and reconnected with others I’ve spoken to at prior Brisbane events. I’ll certainly be adding these meetings to my 2019 calendar.
Jo Seysener is an emerging children’s author with a passion for PND awareness living near Brisbane with her three crazy kidlets, enthusiastic GSD pup and decrepit Kelpie. She also shares her living space with a trio of mad chickens. Jo dabbles in speculative fiction in her spare writing time and is obsessed with alpacas.